I know many teachers dread parent teacher conferences and I’m always asked for the best tips and suggestions. You’re probably busy printing report cards, finalizing schedules, and trying to get those last minute parents to get their time on the calendar.
Parent teacher conferences provide a lot of valuable insight to students, and is an amazing time to build positive relationships with parents, which is an essential part of student success. I remember my first year teaching and I was scouring the internet the night before to find out even what to do during parent teacher conferences. During my student teaching, we didn’t have parent teacher conferences because it was in the spring and they were only for students that had academic struggles, and parents didn’t even have to schedule if there was an additional need. After getting through conferences, I learned a lot of things that helped them to be a major success!
Don’t Make the Parent Teacher Conferences About You
You want to make sure that you are allowing plenty of time for parents to ask questions they have about their students. I usually open our parent teacher conferences by asking them what questions they have for me. I have found that parents appreciate having an open floor to communicate with you what they want to know. I believe that if a parent comes in with a question or concern, that’s all they will be thinking about no matter what I tell them. Sometimes their concern is a more valuable use of your 20 minutes than sharing whatever data you have collected and prepared to share with them.
Of course, there will always be those parents who don’t have any concerns (or have no clue what is going on in school) and want you to be doing all of the talking. Regardless, after starting the conferences this way, I always feel like they went well because I allowed the parents to share and be a part of their students’ learning.
Don’t Have Parents Leave Empty Handed
When you share information with parents, they may not understand some of the terms you’re using. Parents that don’t have educational degrees probably won’t know what a Lexile Level is or how many words their student SHOULD be reading per minute or even why that matters. They might not know exactly what a student should know how to do by the end of the year, let alone the point in time that you’re having the conference.
If you’re going to be sharing about the standards, type up a quick blurb about what the students have already been taught, what they should be able to do, and what that looks like in your classroom. If you’re discussing something specific, have an example of that in either an assignment the student already completed or an extra assignment page so they can see what it is and take it home with them.
I always organize my parent teacher conferences by creating a folder for each student in my room with construction paper. When my conferences are scheduled, I write the student’s name and conference date/time on the outside. Then I put all of the folders in the scheduled order. I include something tangible for just about everything I am going to be talking about so that I don’t have a chance to forget anything and parents can then take the folder home to review later if they wish.
Take Notes & Follow Up
One that I missed my first parent teacher conferences, and in hindsight, it should have been super obvious. I had all of my papers ready to go, but nothing where I could take notes about questions and concerns parents had. I would try to remember all of the parent requests and quickly write them down, hoping I remembered everything before my next conference arrived. I quickly learned the importance of having a notepad nearby and jotting down any important notes. I would place a star next to any note that required a response or immediate action from me and review it the Monday after conferences.
Talk to Your Students
When I was young, I remember anxiously wondering what my mom would say or know when she came back from conferences with my teachers. I try to alleviate this anxiety by having a mini-conference with my students before parent teacher conferences and giving them a kid friendly run down of what will be shared with their parents. Most students have a general idea of how they’re doing, especially in upper elementary grades, so if you tell them you are going to discuss behavior, attendance, report card grades, and participation, they may or may not have a valid reason to feel anxious.
You are a Partner
Try to remember that the main thing parents care about is that you care about their child and his or her education. Find a table where you can sit next to the parents. You don’t ever want to sit behind your desk or table because that creates a boundary between you and the parents. This can make them feel uncomfortable and can be a literal or figurative barrier to your partnership with the parents.
Let Parents Leave a Note for Their Child
Allow parents to write a little note to leave on their child’s desk. This will make the student excited to come to school the next day because they will have a positive experience of their parent being in their classroom.
Emphasize Availability
Previously teachers only needed to talk to parents twice a year, at conference times. Now, I like to emphasize that I am available to parents via phone call or email any time. If I can’t get back to them immediately, I will respond to them within 24 hours during the school week. This will give parents a sense of confidence and an open line of communication to build that relationship with them. Make sure that you stick to your word though when you are telling them how quickly you will get back to them.
Avoid Surprises
If you read that heading with a little bit of worry in the back of your mind about a conference that isn’t going to be so fun… consider reaching out before parent teacher conferences. The last thing you want to do is have a parent feel completely blindsided with behavior or academic concerns when you only have 20 minutes to talk. If it has been three weeks since Sammy has turned in homework, this should have been brought to their attention at the end of the first week. If Jack is failing every single spelling test, it’s probably a good idea to let parents know ahead of time and start brainstorming some ideas together. Once you have let them know ahead of time, you’ll be able to spend some time during conferences on those issues, updating the progress, and brainstorming how you’ll tackle it together.
Making these types of phone calls can be seriously uncomfortable, but I can guarantee that your conferences will go so much smoother when you reach out ahead of time. Don’t let parents have a reason to go home and wonder how they didn’t know about it sooner.
Pick Your Battles
I know some people won’t agree with me on this one, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to bring up every concern you have with a child. Parents need to leave with a positive feeling from the conferences, if you bombard them with negative comments about their child, they won’t feel like you have anything positive to say about their child. If Ella is super talkative with her shoulder partner, but bullies others on the playground, it’s more worth your time to discuss the bullying than the chattiness. If Travis is failing math and using the restroom at inappropriate times, math is probably more worth the time.
An End in Sight
If you’re anything like me, I am incredibly awkward with goodbyes. Parent teacher conferences bring out that fear of goodbye because sometimes I have to end the conversation and that can be super tricky for me. I want to give parents my full attention, but other parents need my full attention as well. Figure out how you will end a conference, especially if it’s time for the next parent to come in, and you are still halfway through your conversation. Consider saying something like “I am so glad we were able to meet today, but another parent is waiting. I know we still need to talk about XYZ, so when would be the best time to do that?” Or “Feel free to send me an email and we can schedule a time to finish our conversation.”
